Merry F’ING CHRISTMAS

Many people, I hope, have heard that Boston this year in the name of political correctness, has called the huge evergreen tree in their main plaza a Holiday tree as opposed to the customary Christmas tree. Boston is not and isolated incident. This CHRISTMAS season, commercials, workplace memos, school breaks, and even Christmas cards have been omitting the word Christmas for more politically correct, less offensive words alluding to but not actually saying Christmas. Some examples of this political substitution include: “This Holiday season…”, “Happy Holidays!” and my personal favorite: “during the time period that falls between December 24 and December 26 have a nice couple of days!”
Christmas trees are a fixture in almost any community that you see in America and in most places in Europe. And more to the point, these trees are used exclusively for celebrating Christmas. I really don’t see the point in calling them something other than what they really are. I mean you don’t see Jewish families flowing out of the woodworks to go and buy their Hanukah trees or people that observe Kwanza slogging through the snow to find the perfect tree to put wherever they put their Kwanza paraphernalia. No, that is a tradition for people that celebrate Christmas alone.
I think that this goes beyond just political correctness. For years, people have been taking more and more religious elements out of mainstream American life. It used to be that you learned parts of the bible, you prayed and you called Christmas break, well Christmas break when you went to school. Then, drinking became the new craze (I’m not bashing Bud Light, if you want a beer, then by all means, crack one open), there was fermented barley juice everywhere. Then the advent of the condom, now people don’t have to live with half the consequences they did when the first thing that came to mind after the word Trojan, the was horse, not man. All of these things mixed together times ten gives you what America is today. Then take into account the fact that over the last five years, atheists and others are trying to de-Godify society.
“Under God” and “In God We Trust” are now in question because they signify that our government believes in God. The Ten Commandments aren’t allowed to be displayed in courthouses because they were mentioned in the Bible. Teachers or any other school employees for that matter aren’t allowed to lead prayer anymore because it “forces religion on others”. Now, people are sooo afraid that the government is going to get sued again, they are appeasing the God Damned atheists (pun is intended).
Jay Leno mentioned something that made sense for once. He said that we still call Halloween the same thing, yet we have to substitute something for Christmas. So what we are subliminally saying is that Satan and Count Dracula are acceptable, yet, Jesus and Santa are bad.
I think that this is a national crisis. So until FEMA gets here:
MERRY F’ING CHRISTMAS!!

The Unknown Region of Fashion Designers and Ripped Jeans...

Have you ever noticed that women are THE most complicated creature on the planet? Screw the Loch-ness monster, the creepy fish so far down in the ocean that humans couldn’t be there (oh, and they light up like a city) and those fish someone found in the Indian Ocean that had armor; no, women are the most complicated and not to mention scary and downright psychotic creatures that have, are presently and ever will roam the Earth.
For instance, have you ever noticed that in a high school, girls can be buddy buddy and be “Like hey, do you want to hang out later?” to a poor, unsuspecting person (of any gender) and then turn around five minutes later and ask the nearest person if “Like hey, did you see her legs? Like since when did we let a bear into the school?” Then when the subject of the controversial legs goes to the specified location to “hang out”, there’s no one there and they have to call their mom to come pick them up and make up the excuse that she got her dates mixed up.
Now, I don’t know about all of my readers (or just poor people who happened to type in an extremely incorrect website and ended up reading this instead of finding those pictures of rare jungle animals for Biology (wikipedia.org)) out there, but if a girl doesn’t like someone, why can’t they just say that to the person’s face and get it over with instead of leading them on and then crushing them in their fists like human Venus fly traps? That’s probably exactly what a guy would do; of course, girls say that guys like that are barbaric and uncivilized. I don’t see the logic in this, but hey if that’s what they call honesty nowadays, I guess that’s how it is.
On the issue of being psychotic; girls take things too far. If they see themselves in a mirror, and they actually can’t count the ribs on their sides (the inhumanity!!!) they decide that they are fat and need not to eat for 6 months or until their parents notice that their little baby doll is sinking into a sea of clothes that were too tight a couple of months ago (which coincidentally, in today’s world is just about the same time). Another thing they take too far is the brand of clothes or the designer of the shoes/ purses they wear. If you give a girl a choice between a $25 pair of jeans with tears and patches (from the local Wal-Mart), and an identical pair of pants that everyone else has for $125 (from the Gucci store two hours away), that girl would go for the $125 pair of jeans because, if the price is higher, then the jeans must be better. To me, that’s kind of stupid. If you get a cheaper pair of pants, you can get more clothes for less, and when (not if, but when) that ink toner cartridge busts in your hands and sprays all over your $5 shirt and $25 jeans, it won’t be the end of humanity like it would have been if you bought that $50 Hollister T and those infamous $125 pair of Gucci jeans that you would have worn that day.
Moving on to the designer issue; I have noticed that along with the price of something, girls also tend to look at designer names. A little while back, I came to school and a certain girl was walking in front of me. She was toting this purse with the discretion of a male peacock in the middle of mating season. I found out later that day that it was a Luis Vaton purse; and the one that she was carrying was $325 and had a waiting list of 6 months on it. All of the girls were soooo jealous of her because they wouldn’t get theirs for another 4-5 months. Now I don’t know why you’d want a purse that costs more than a video game system and four brand new games, and, to want one so bad that you put your name on a waiting list for it, but most all the girls at my school did. I know that this is not an isolated incident because the Today © Show did a special segment on the “latest fashion designer clothes”. Some of these clothes were priced upwards of $1500 (which ended up being a pair of sandal/shoes that were completely and undeniably ugly). And to top this, these revolting shoes had a waiting list of 3 YEARS on them. The reason these shoes were in the price range of a lap top computer even though the unsightly foot pieces were so repulsive (or any other synonym of ugly) was because a famous designer (that must have been gay) had made them. My brain just can’t compute the logic behind this. If you take the same philosophy of the Gucci jeans, (only you don’t spill ink toner on them, you get caught out in the rain with them and because they are sandals, they have no ankle support and because they are high heels, you can’t run to the nearest coffee shop in them) you see that as Meijer © says: “A low price beats a high price every time” ®.
I am aware that most of these comments are sexist, stereotypical and don’t have a single shred of falsity in them, so, to all of my female readers, straight fashion designers that make ugly sandal shoes, or the people that haven’t moved on to wikipedia.org to look up those jungle critters, I am sorry that I had to say these things and that if you didn’t like what I was saying that you didn’t just not read this.
This is Screaming Buffalo saying: That’s all folks!!!!

School's Out For Summer! Dun Dun Dun....

Well, it’s the last day of school for me today. Whoooooohooooooooo!!!!! Sophomore year is probably the worst year of high school. Ya know why? Because you can’t drive for starters. I mean you try getting through a whole Saturday sitting at home because you don’t have a ride to go do anything. Your mom is screaming at you to get your homework done and clean your room. I mean c’mon, it’s a Saturday for god’s sake! Isn’t Saturday the day where you take girls on dates and go to the beach? That’s another thing. Taking girls on dates. When you don’t have a car, you have to either meet the girl where you’re going which means that you’re not going to get a kiss or anything farther than that because you have to meet and greet and say goodnight at the flippin’ place, or you have to loan a ride from your parents to take the girl and if you have parents like mine, that would be the last date you would go on with any girl for the rest of your high school and the start of your college career.
Actually, if you had parents like mine, you wouldn’t be going on a date until you are freakin’ 16. That’s right, 16; when my parents adopted me, they decided that I wouldn’t be allowed to watch R rated movies and I couldn’t go on a date until I was 16. Now I don’t know if I’m overreacting about this issue or my parents are having a complex about me getting older or they just want to control me in every possible way, but it’s driving me up the wall and through the roof right up to the moon because I don’t even have the option of going on a date. As I said before, I wouldn’t go on a date with my parents driving in the first place because they’d embarrass me so bad that I’d have to go into a bunker in Latvia for the rest of my adolescent years. It just irks me that I can’t even hit on a girl because I have to stop at that, I can’t ask her to go to dinner because my parents have a total separation complex going on and as long as I plan on going to college, playing sports, or even going to my cousin’s house, I have to play by their rules.
And then there’s the issue of R rated movies, why can’t I watch ‘em like everybody else when they turn 10? I couldn’t even watch certain PG-13 movies until I was 15 and I still can’t watch some like The Fast and the Furious, XXX (the movie), Titanic, the Matrix series, The Simpson’s, shall I go on? I know that I’m not the only sheltered child on this planet, but to any parents reading this, and they see any part of this extensive complaint spewing from my key-board in themselves, they need to really look inside themselves and see that if their parents did this kind of torture to them, that they would all the sudden have the need to kill something, or write a strongly worded memo to their parents telling them exactly how they feel.
Bottom line is that parents need to lighten up. When they were our age, they did, I’m sure, lots of stuff that is way worse than nowadays.
Screaming Buffalo Over and out.

Terry Schiavo

Terry Schiavo' feeding tube should not be put back in. She has been in a persistent vegetative state for 15 years. Her existance is pitiful and there is no point in keeping her alive. After 15 years I don't think she's gonna come back. Yes she will be starved to death but she cannot feel anything in the state she is in. I know that starving someone to death is not humane but sticking a tube in a person's abdomen and letting them sit in a bed for 15 years and leaving a husband to grieve isn't either.