Tuesday, May 22, 2007

28 weeks ‘till I can actually walk outside at night

If you have seen 28 Days Later, or the new one, 28 Weeks Later, then you know what I’m talking about when I say ‘roid rage rabies. The whole concept of both films is that there is a virus called the “Rage Virus” that has taken over London. Lame name for the main antagonist right? well neither film gives you the time to ponder how creative the name of this disease is because there is almost this constant stream of startling scenes (as any good horror film has to have) and gore (again, any good horror flick necessity). Here’s the concept of the disease: the virus is spread through blood and/or saliva contact. When you contract it, you start projectile vomiting bloody mucus and you digress into this state of complete savagery and rage. You then proceed to run around trying to bite and/or eat other people and thus spread the virus. Now, the concept is simple enough, but words can hardly describe the state that these people are in. it’s almost like someone on steroids got mad and then got bit by a very rabid dog, aka, ‘roid rage rabies.
In order to have a good zombie/monster movie, you’ve got to have the people look scary along with their crazy “I’m gonna eat your fuckin’ hand off your fuckin’ arm” mentality. The people in charge of this department did very well. The infected, about a minute after contact, begin to get blood-shot eyes and, again, spew out the contents of their stomach along with about a pint of blood. So let’s recap. These people on steroids, infected with rabies now have hangovers to go along with an upset stomach—they’re pissed, as I would be, and evidently, the people kind of turn into rabid vampires—so they go on a rampage looking for blood that they can dribble down the front of their shirt.

In 28 Days, you see how the virus began. In 28 Weeks, you see how all of Britain has been quarantined and how the military hopes to rid the world of the virus by starving the infected to death. One person survived the six month quarantine and managed to keep her sanity, even though she was attacked at least once by one of these people though.

This is the basis of the movie. She, it turns out, is a carrier for the virus, so she doesn’t get sick, but she can still spread it. Obviously, since there is this whole movie, the worst happens and the virus gets out again. The military proceeds to shoot everything in sight (so now it’s a horror-action flick), and a hero is born when one of about thirty snipers decides he doesn’t like the target practice anymore and escorts a really hot doctor and two kids through a London filled with military exterminators and pissed off people with rabies.

Scared yet? Well if not, I highly suggest this movie. And if you know anyone that has watched either of the 28 [insert time period] movies, here’s a good prank:

Get some ketchup and put it all down your chin, like you just ate a ketchup pie without our hands, then get some Phizene tears or something that won’t hurt your eyes but make them bloodshot and put it in your eye, finally, mess up your hair and clothes, like you slept in your clothes and didn’t take a shower. Then, when it gets dark, sneak up to them, or even better, sneak outside a window, wait for them to look, scream and act like you want to give them a bloody hickey and hide in the shadows. I guarantee that, if they don’t shoot or try to kill you, it will be one of the funniest things you will see because they will, in all likelihood, drop a deuce in their pants. This is, again, a good movie if you like action, gore and horror. Go and watch it, just don’t sleep alone in the house afterwards.