Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Unknown Region of Fashion Designers and Ripped Jeans...

Have you ever noticed that women are THE most complicated creature on the planet? Screw the Loch-ness monster, the creepy fish so far down in the ocean that humans couldn’t be there (oh, and they light up like a city) and those fish someone found in the Indian Ocean that had armor; no, women are the most complicated and not to mention scary and downright psychotic creatures that have, are presently and ever will roam the Earth.
For instance, have you ever noticed that in a high school, girls can be buddy buddy and be “Like hey, do you want to hang out later?” to a poor, unsuspecting person (of any gender) and then turn around five minutes later and ask the nearest person if “Like hey, did you see her legs? Like since when did we let a bear into the school?” Then when the subject of the controversial legs goes to the specified location to “hang out”, there’s no one there and they have to call their mom to come pick them up and make up the excuse that she got her dates mixed up.
Now, I don’t know about all of my readers (or just poor people who happened to type in an extremely incorrect website and ended up reading this instead of finding those pictures of rare jungle animals for Biology (wikipedia.org)) out there, but if a girl doesn’t like someone, why can’t they just say that to the person’s face and get it over with instead of leading them on and then crushing them in their fists like human Venus fly traps? That’s probably exactly what a guy would do; of course, girls say that guys like that are barbaric and uncivilized. I don’t see the logic in this, but hey if that’s what they call honesty nowadays, I guess that’s how it is.
On the issue of being psychotic; girls take things too far. If they see themselves in a mirror, and they actually can’t count the ribs on their sides (the inhumanity!!!) they decide that they are fat and need not to eat for 6 months or until their parents notice that their little baby doll is sinking into a sea of clothes that were too tight a couple of months ago (which coincidentally, in today’s world is just about the same time). Another thing they take too far is the brand of clothes or the designer of the shoes/ purses they wear. If you give a girl a choice between a $25 pair of jeans with tears and patches (from the local Wal-Mart), and an identical pair of pants that everyone else has for $125 (from the Gucci store two hours away), that girl would go for the $125 pair of jeans because, if the price is higher, then the jeans must be better. To me, that’s kind of stupid. If you get a cheaper pair of pants, you can get more clothes for less, and when (not if, but when) that ink toner cartridge busts in your hands and sprays all over your $5 shirt and $25 jeans, it won’t be the end of humanity like it would have been if you bought that $50 Hollister T and those infamous $125 pair of Gucci jeans that you would have worn that day.
Moving on to the designer issue; I have noticed that along with the price of something, girls also tend to look at designer names. A little while back, I came to school and a certain girl was walking in front of me. She was toting this purse with the discretion of a male peacock in the middle of mating season. I found out later that day that it was a Luis Vaton purse; and the one that she was carrying was $325 and had a waiting list of 6 months on it. All of the girls were soooo jealous of her because they wouldn’t get theirs for another 4-5 months. Now I don’t know why you’d want a purse that costs more than a video game system and four brand new games, and, to want one so bad that you put your name on a waiting list for it, but most all the girls at my school did. I know that this is not an isolated incident because the Today © Show did a special segment on the “latest fashion designer clothes”. Some of these clothes were priced upwards of $1500 (which ended up being a pair of sandal/shoes that were completely and undeniably ugly). And to top this, these revolting shoes had a waiting list of 3 YEARS on them. The reason these shoes were in the price range of a lap top computer even though the unsightly foot pieces were so repulsive (or any other synonym of ugly) was because a famous designer (that must have been gay) had made them. My brain just can’t compute the logic behind this. If you take the same philosophy of the Gucci jeans, (only you don’t spill ink toner on them, you get caught out in the rain with them and because they are sandals, they have no ankle support and because they are high heels, you can’t run to the nearest coffee shop in them) you see that as Meijer © says: “A low price beats a high price every time” ®.
I am aware that most of these comments are sexist, stereotypical and don’t have a single shred of falsity in them, so, to all of my female readers, straight fashion designers that make ugly sandal shoes, or the people that haven’t moved on to wikipedia.org to look up those jungle critters, I am sorry that I had to say these things and that if you didn’t like what I was saying that you didn’t just not read this.
This is Screaming Buffalo saying: That’s all folks!!!!

12 comments:

Ace of Spades said...

i'm a female reader, and i have one word for this post: nice.

Screaming Buffalo said...

Thank You, I appreciate your time.

By the way, are you one of the Gucci girls or the smart Wal-Mart girl?

Radioactive Jam said...

My view from the Far Side beyond high school: everything gets better. Not easier, mind you. But better. Females will always seem complicated to males, but that's not their fault.

And remember, psychotic is just a state of mind. Not to worry!

Ace of Spades said...

i'm the buy-whatever-i-darn-well-please girls...from wherever i feel like getting stuff from (and if i like it and have the money). usually, i go for the cheaper stuff tho...usually just because i'm broke.

Screaming Buffalo said...

That makes about a billion of us Ace. Probably from gas prices right?

Achilles said...

...i like designer jeans...

jedith said...

I don't wear anything "designer"...I value my masculinity.

Achilles said...

you were the same pants everyday

Achilles said...

and there dockers, those dont sound like wal-mart pants

Screaming Buffalo said...

Nothing against designer jeans, they just are too expensive and it's wastefull to buy them just because of the name.

Ace of Spades said...

have you asked anybody for my email yet? i KNOW achilles has it...

Screaming Buffalo said...

Sorry Ace, i didn't know you wanted me to E-Mail you. I'll get it from him today.