The Magical Kingdom shall fall!!

Hello and welcome to Whathimsay Weekly. I’m Screaming Buffalo flying solo on this Saturday, February 4, 2006…

Well, there are some interesting things that happened this week, so I will skip the usual journalistic pleasantries and jump right into the action.

The Iranian missile crisis: The Irannis have managed to piss everybody in the world (well, almost everybody) off AGAIN. How you ask? Well…the US Security Council has concluded that Iran is only a few years from having weapons-grade Uranium. They already have rockets that can deliver a nuclear payload and need only to make the final breakthrough of enriching Uranium and purifying it. While insofar as the US can tell, there is really no threat to the Continental US, but Israel, Russia, Iraq and Afghanistan are all within Iran’s crosshairs. The US has been trying to sit down in talks with Iran similar to what we did in North Korea, but Iran has just said no, citing that they have every right in the world to pursue nuclear research for peaceful purposes.

Disney Siege: It was a bitter sweet business day on Thursday in China, where they are celebrating the New Year (it’s the dog this year) and obviously, a lot of Chinese families decided that it was as good a time as any to go to Disney World. Well, about a hundred and fifty people too many had the same thought because Disney World, China sold out and had to close it’s gates. The extra hundred and change people that were left out of the happiest place in China weren’t too happy and stormed the gates lifting their children and themselves over the spiky gates. Reportedly, there were shouts of “The Magic Kingdom shall fall!!” and “The Gates of Disney shall not prevail against us!” No reported injuries.

Air Force Serviceman Shot By Cops: In a troubling story this week, a police officer shot and wounded an Air Force serviceman back from Iraq after a short police chase where Elio Carrion was the passenger in a Corvette with his friendLuis Escobedo. The cops tried to pull over the car because it was alledgedly going over 100 mph and when the lights flared up, Escabedo fled the police. The chase ended when the car crashed into a wall in Chino Calif. The Sherrif's Deputy, John Webb pulled his weapon and was holding Carrion at gunpoint when he told the young man to stand up so that he could be cuffed and put in the squad car. Then Webb opened fire upon Elio and shot him twice in the chest and once in the leg. The shots, while not fatal, were obviously painful and as Carrion lay in the ground, the deputy yelled at the Air Force Security Officer to be quiet and to stay still. Mr, Carrion is in the hospital listed in good condition and could soon go home. Mr. Webb is on paid administrative leave and an investigation is ongoing into the necessity of the deadly force used in this case. All of this was captured on a home videotape that is being used to find out exactly what happened. Click here to see the video and here for more information.

Virginia Coal Mines: After the high profile deaths of 16 miners in three accidents, Virginia Governor Tim Kaine has asked for and received the cooperation of all of the coal mines in Virginia to voluntarily shut down operations to allow inspectors to see what the hell is happening in Virginia mines that makes them so dangerous.

Flag Burned: In a shocking story, A FLAG OTHER THAN THE AMERICAN STAR SPANGLED BANNER WAS BURNED!!!!! That’s right people, for the time being, a Danish newspaper has been the object of scrutiny and a pleasant break for Americans in the area from the usual DEATH TO AMERICA chants. France Soir published cartoons in one of its issues this week that insulted Allah which is considered blasphemous. One of the cartoons depicted Allah with a turban on his head that looked like a bomb. Muslims all over the world are demanding that an apology be made by the Danish government for the insult to their religion. The editor of the newspaper made a public statement apologizing if they offended Islamic people, but he refused to apologize for printing the cartoons referencing that in his country, there was the freedom of the press. This statement caused an outbreak of small scale rioting in the streets including the burning of several Danish flags. In Gaza, and in other Islamic parts of the world, there was a boycott of European products until a “proper apology” is made. DEATH TO DENMARK!!


Free Speech Infringed Upon: At the State of the Union address this Tuesday evening, the ever controversial Cindy Sheehan and Rep. Bill Young’s wife Beverly Young were both forcibly removed from the public gallery in the 2nd level of the House of Representatives. Both women had T-Shirts on with wording. Cindy had a shirt spelling out the number of dead in Iraq (2,245 how many more) while Young’s shirt said: Support the Troops that Defend our Country. Sheehan was removed before the speech started and was later arrested for illegally protesting. When informed of her charges, Sheehan called her arresting officer an idiot. When the prosecutor reviewed the case, Sheehan was proven right; she should have not been arrested because the shirt she was wearing was considered free speech. Mrs. Young was removed during the President’s speech when the security personnel informed her that she either had to leave or change the shirt because she was “also protesting illegally in the capitol”, she told them that her shirt was in support of the troops and her President. It was concluded later that neither Sheehan nor Young should have been removed. One of the President’s biggest points is that America is addicted to oil and that we should pursue alternate energy sources. It’s kind of ironic that both women were denied FREE SPEECH at one of the biggest SPEECHES of a president’s term. Lame point, I know.

DUH HUR! Macintosh has been sued. As with many lawsuits in America, it’s a dumb one. According to the plaintiff, their ears were damaged when they turned the music on their i-Pod up too high. You’re kilin’ me Smalls!

Super Bowl: Well, it’s that time of the year when Dominos and Frito Lay believe in God for just a brief moment: The Super Bowl. This year it’s the Pittsburgh Stealers and the Seattle Seahawks. According to my sources (people I know), Pittsburgh is the favorite to win for sentimental reasons seeing as Stealer’s running back Jerome Bettis is retiring after this season and Detroit is his home city. Bettis gave an inspirational speech directly before the AFC championship game where they beat the Denver Broncos 34-17 in which he obviously persuaded his team to help bring him back to his home city for his final game. The Super Bowl is not only a big football event, but it is also the biggest event for advertisers in the country. The ads this year are going at a rate of $500,000 per minute ($250,000 for thirty seconds if you can’t divide). The 40th Super Bowl is in Detroit this year and the city is passing out free tickets today to people who would not have had the chance to attend the Super Bowl otherwise. Look for a lot of Detroit Lions in the stands with those free tickets.

Egyptian Ferry Accident: In a very sad story, a 327 foot Egyptian roll-on-roll-off ferry called Al Salamm traveling from Saudi Arabia filled with pilgrims from Mecca was crossing the Red Sea when its radar signal suddenly was lost. There were approximately 1400 people on board including the crew. Right now, there isn’t that much information about what happened, but at the time of the accident, there was a large sandstorm with high winds and waves. The best guess that investigators have at this time is that the waves crashed over the deck of the ferry and started to rock with the boat eventually forcing the boat to capsize. At this point in search and rescue efforts, around 300 people are known to have survived. The SAR helicopters first over the scene reported to have seen bodies in the water. It is speculated that there were not enough life boats for all of the passengers. This is eerily similar to Life of Pi and the Titanic, though I don’t believe that there were any icebergs or Bengal Tigers out there. God be with the people that died in this accident and their families.

That’s all for this week’s first edition of Whathimsay Weekly, I’m Screaming Buffalo saying good night and good luck (nothing from Serenity unfortunately RaJ).