Yeah, so last week seemed to come rolling right out of hell on some demented crazy train and took a huge, steaming dump all over my life, socially, academically and mentally...I had tests and a certain (vv) project (ahem) at the end of the week, I was having emotional issues with letting go of advertising and going to PW (pshh...yeah right), I was and am still trying to figure out what in the hail is wrong with my car (not running is one problem), I'm pretty sure that I saw my friends about twice, I'm still trying to catch up on sleep from last week and on top of it all, I still had homework in all of my classes...so pardon the laziness in posting a project for my week's journals...
So, for the update...I have done almost nothing productive this week to compensate for last week...I am managing to do some cool stuff with AI (Illustrator)...I learned how to make that cool text effect that you see on classic comic books (Effect>3D>Extrude & Bevel)...I was gonna show off with that by putting a pic in...but it's taking too long and I'm not feeling the enthusiasm 45 mins into it...I am also in the process of tracing a sketch I made for an ad with the pen tool...that's really fun (and by fun I mean tedious and time consuming)...I am wondering at this point just how much work I'm willing to do for a spec ad tho...
Oh! Fun stuff...for the State News staff photo this year, we are vectoring ourselves onto superheroes and then we will compile the pics together for the final proj...I'm pumped as I'm gonna be Syndrome from the Incredibles...w00t!!
I'm also going to be making a profile page for the State news...I might want to kill HTML by the end of this year...but I did notice that there is a copy of the JavaScript Bible at SN...YES!!!!!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Module 2 Paper AKA 17-21
So I thought that making my module 2 paper my journals for this week would be appropriate. I spent a lot of time on this paper...and every single other thing I had to do this week...
The page I analyzed for Module 1 was Time.com, so I thought it fitting to analyze its underlying stricture for Module 2. I am comparing the code with that of Jeffery Zeldman’s site, zeldman.com. Zeldman is considered a God of sorts for web design and his site acts as much as a creative outlet and blog for Zeldman as a standard to which authors should compare their work. I am going to deviate slightly from the original assignment. I will be analyzing the CSS sheets used in the sites. I am pretty familiar with HTML, but not so much in CSS. As this assignment is to serve also as a reference sheet of sorts, I figured CSS would be a good substitute for HTML in my case.
In general, Jeffery Zeldman is my hero (of web design)…he is renowned in the field of web design and has a site viewed by thousands of people every day. His site reflects his prowess in web design and passion for user experience and learning. The first thing I would like to mention about his CSS sheet compared to TIME’s is the little disclaimers/explanations he leaves like easter eggs throughout the document. He fully intended for other people to look at his CSS code and learn from the way he went about designing his site. TIME, on the other hand, looks like an intern got carried away with the copy and paste button and then went through and changed what they needed. The code is sloppy, disorganized and unnecessarily redundant. It appears to me that TIME jumped on the web bandwagon as an afterthought and spent only as much time and money constructing the site as necessary to create a skeleton template…and have not had a major overhaul to their site or a significant update in quite some time.
In TIME’s defense, they do have a lot of information that has to be presented…which means a lot of formatting. And being a novice in CSS coding, I am not in the best position to be tearing their code or process apart. But all the same, I’m almost positive that there is a simpler and better way to lay this site out using CSS. It would also help if they put in little explainer tags to help future authors (including themselves) to know which things are which as Zeldman did.
I really enjoyed this assignment…main reason being that I use this sort of process for learning about web design on my own. I usually will go through the source code of a site to see how it works…maybe even open th e document in Dreamweaver’s split view and see which elements correlate to which lines of code.
I must admit, I read through Zeldman’s code more than TIME’s…mostly because the TIME CSS to me, seemed like a jumbled mess. Zeldman did a very good job with making his code accessible and readable. I did learn a lot from Zeldman’s code about the process of laying out using CSS. Background images and divs are key elements in contemporary layout design and Zeldman demonstrated perfectly how to use them. I also picked up some seemingly good shortcuts on how to code in attributes…especially background attributes…rath er than have several separate attributes such as an image attribute, a color attribute and so on, just have one background attribute tag with all of the attributes specified inside of it.
Here’s an example of what I mean:
div#wrapper {
background: transparent url(/i04/wrapinner.gif) top left repeat-y;
}
As per the rubric, here’s a lis t of reoccurring elements I found in both TIME and Zeldman.com.
• min-width—sets the minimum width of an element
• border—define the borders around an element
• display—sets how/if an element is displayed
• text-align—aligns the text in an element
• margin—define the space around elements
• padding—define the space between the element border and the element content
• color—defines the color o f an element, be it text, border or other
• font—defines the font of the text…usually supply the specific font as well as the root font and serif family
• width—sets the width of an element…usually div’s
• height—defines the height of something…usually div’s
• font-size—defines the font size…usually using the ‘em’ unit
• list-style—sets the type of the list-item marker (the bullet points)
• position—defines the pos ition of an element…like a picture or a div or whatnot
• line-height—sets the distance between lines of text…’em’ units work best
• letter-spacing—sets the distance between characters…’em’ works best
• text-transform—defines any special characteristics of the text…so you can make everything uppercase or small caps or whatnot
• background-color—sets the background color of an element
• a:visited—a pseudo class for hyperlinks that defines the appearance of visited links
• a:hover—a pseudo class for hyperlinks that defines the appearance of links when hovered over by a mouse
I feel very confident with using basic attributes like –color, -image, and –position—mainly to do with the fact that I have used programs dealing with visual elements like Photoshop and Illustrator, however, a nything dealing with text is still relatively foreign to me…I think it has to do with my inexperience with manipulating text…I am getting better at using text manipulating attributes however.
I would just like to say that W3C Schools is the BEST PLACE EVER to learn anything about anything web…from definitions to tutorials on how to do different tasks to basic walkthroughs and even learn how to get a certification in any web authoring language recognized by the W3C. This is where I got all of the information pertaining to the attributes and where I have been learning code. I constantly have a tab in my browser devoted to W3C Schools in the event I have a web-related question
So in short, TIME needs a major overhaul on their site, Jeffery Zeldman is a web authoring GOD and I have a long way to go before I can do anything close to what I have seen in this project.
So there's my paper...and I'll get around to posting more progress later...when I actually have things to talk about...
Module 2: Analyzing Web Code
A comparison of Time.com and Zeldman.com
The page I analyzed for Module 1 was Time.com, so I thought it fitting to analyze its underlying stricture for Module 2. I am comparing the code with that of Jeffery Zeldman’s site, zeldman.com. Zeldman is considered a God of sorts for web design and his site acts as much as a creative outlet and blog for Zeldman as a standard to which authors should compare their work. I am going to deviate slightly from the original assignment. I will be analyzing the CSS sheets used in the sites. I am pretty familiar with HTML, but not so much in CSS. As this assignment is to serve also as a reference sheet of sorts, I figured CSS would be a good substitute for HTML in my case.
In general, Jeffery Zeldman is my hero (of web design)…he is renowned in the field of web design and has a site viewed by thousands of people every day. His site reflects his prowess in web design and passion for user experience and learning. The first thing I would like to mention about his CSS sheet compared to TIME’s is the little disclaimers/explanations he leaves like easter eggs throughout the document. He fully intended for other people to look at his CSS code and learn from the way he went about designing his site. TIME, on the other hand, looks like an intern got carried away with the copy and paste button and then went through and changed what they needed. The code is sloppy, disorganized and unnecessarily redundant. It appears to me that TIME jumped on the web bandwagon as an afterthought and spent only as much time and money constructing the site as necessary to create a skeleton template…and have not had a major overhaul to their site or a significant update in quite some time.
In TIME’s defense, they do have a lot of information that has to be presented…which means a lot of formatting. And being a novice in CSS coding, I am not in the best position to be tearing their code or process apart. But all the same, I’m almost positive that there is a simpler and better way to lay this site out using CSS. It would also help if they put in little explainer tags to help future authors (including themselves) to know which things are which as Zeldman did.
I really enjoyed this assignment…main reason being that I use this sort of process for learning about web design on my own. I usually will go through the source code of a site to see how it works…maybe even open th e document in Dreamweaver’s split view and see which elements correlate to which lines of code.
I must admit, I read through Zeldman’s code more than TIME’s…mostly because the TIME CSS to me, seemed like a jumbled mess. Zeldman did a very good job with making his code accessible and readable. I did learn a lot from Zeldman’s code about the process of laying out using CSS. Background images and divs are key elements in contemporary layout design and Zeldman demonstrated perfectly how to use them. I also picked up some seemingly good shortcuts on how to code in attributes…especially background attributes…rath er than have several separate attributes such as an image attribute, a color attribute and so on, just have one background attribute tag with all of the attributes specified inside of it.
Here’s an example of what I mean:
div#wrapper {
background: transparent url(/i04/wrapinner.gif) top left repeat-y;
}
As per the rubric, here’s a lis t of reoccurring elements I found in both TIME and Zeldman.com.
• min-width—sets the minimum width of an element
• border—define the borders around an element
• display—sets how/if an element is displayed
• text-align—aligns the text in an element
• margin—define the space around elements
• padding—define the space between the element border and the element content
• color—defines the color o f an element, be it text, border or other
• font—defines the font of the text…usually supply the specific font as well as the root font and serif family
• width—sets the width of an element…usually div’s
• height—defines the height of something…usually div’s
• font-size—defines the font size…usually using the ‘em’ unit
• list-style—sets the type of the list-item marker (the bullet points)
• position—defines the pos ition of an element…like a picture or a div or whatnot
• line-height—sets the distance between lines of text…’em’ units work best
• letter-spacing—sets the distance between characters…’em’ works best
• text-transform—defines any special characteristics of the text…so you can make everything uppercase or small caps or whatnot
• background-color—sets the background color of an element
• a:visited—a pseudo class for hyperlinks that defines the appearance of visited links
• a:hover—a pseudo class for hyperlinks that defines the appearance of links when hovered over by a mouse
I feel very confident with using basic attributes like –color, -image, and –position—mainly to do with the fact that I have used programs dealing with visual elements like Photoshop and Illustrator, however, a nything dealing with text is still relatively foreign to me…I think it has to do with my inexperience with manipulating text…I am getting better at using text manipulating attributes however.
I would just like to say that W3C Schools is the BEST PLACE EVER to learn anything about anything web…from definitions to tutorials on how to do different tasks to basic walkthroughs and even learn how to get a certification in any web authoring language recognized by the W3C. This is where I got all of the information pertaining to the attributes and where I have been learning code. I constantly have a tab in my browser devoted to W3C Schools in the event I have a web-related question
So in short, TIME needs a major overhaul on their site, Jeffery Zeldman is a web authoring GOD and I have a long way to go before I can do anything close to what I have seen in this project.
 | |
• Very cluttered…every attribute has an identifier…makes it a pain if one was ever to go back in and edit it • Lines and lines and lines of code • Most images are actually in the CSS…especially for the RSS feeds and background images • All the attribute id’s are individual…rather than consolidating them • Color tags • Text font families • Margin/padding • Links have their own id’s and colors and most have attributes for diff a:hover • Images: default • There’s a lot of information on how the page looks and how things are formatted | • clean and organized • There are small explainer tags that describe the function of different things • He seems to have designed the CSS with future editors and the common viewer in mind • The images are also in CSS, but the tags are different…rather than have the tag as background-image, he consolidates all of the bkgd attributes into one tag… • Color tags • Text font families • Margin/padding • Links have their own id’s and colors and most have attributes for diff a:hover • Images: url(local image path) • There’s a lot of information on how the page looks and how things are formatted • This version looks a lot cleaner and simpler to navigate • Plus there are little explainers throughout the doc letting you know where you are |
So there's my paper...and I'll get around to posting more progress later...when I actually have things to talk about...
Monday, February 09, 2009
Journal 16: Tabs and other things of interest
So for a while, I've wanted to learn how to make hyperlinks automatically open in new tabs...and how to make text appear as a comment when you hover over it...it's kind of frustrating not knowing how to do either...especially since I know as a user that it's nice knowing where a link is taking you before you click, and after you click, to not have the link take you away from the page you were viewing. You can do this already by right clicking the tab and saying open in new tab, but I want to make it more convenient for the more Layman user.
I went to Grand Rapids this weekend to meet with JMulls...it was loads of fun and I learned quite a bit about using RapidWeaver...it basically builds the site for you...which I think will be really useful in learning code because I can generate pages and then look at the source code for it and learn how to make my own code.
I also made a couple of contacts with guys that do the kind of stuff I'm getting into for a living...those should be really good to have around for questions and things of that nature.
I went to Grand Rapids this weekend to meet with JMulls...it was loads of fun and I learned quite a bit about using RapidWeaver...it basically builds the site for you...which I think will be really useful in learning code because I can generate pages and then look at the source code for it and learn how to make my own code.
I also made a couple of contacts with guys that do the kind of stuff I'm getting into for a living...those should be really good to have around for questions and things of that nature.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Journal 14 &15: Apple Apple Apple
So big news...I heard from Apple today...about a month ago, I applied to be a Campus Rep and they finally got back to me! They want to talk to me tomorrow (Wed, 2/4/09), well, today now...
Anyway...Meeting with PC went well. We got a lot done...he really liked my mock-up, and aside from any major changes, ^^ is how it's gonna look...as you can see, it has a very calm, earthy feel...lots of greens and browns...and the text is grey sans rather than black serif. The NavBar is going to have a lot more on it than this however...I just didn't have time to go in and change anything since Sat...it's also going to be in drop down format with a gradient the same color as the far right...The 2 columns of text are going to be iFrames that scroll independently of the background (the trees and the gradient), which is going to stay static.
There are going to be a couple logos surrounding the banner, which is most likely going to change a little bit as well...I'm not sure about the font...I like the sans Helvetica, but I kind of want something more organic...not Papyrus organic...but something not as clean...Helvetica thruout doesn't seem to go right with the earthy motif.
There's also going to be a JS photo gallery as well as several php forms for prayer requests, CD ordering forms and more. This is going to be a biiiiiiiiig project...but I feel like when it's done, I will be 20 times the web designer I am right now...
I have been neglecting my digital portfolio lately...I should probably look into that...HAH!...like that's going to happen between the State News, classes, the GHBC site and possibly Apple...I kind of want to go in and redo it to look like a newspaper...predominently black and white with an Old English Banner...and NO TABLES!!!** I will use CSS for all of it...but that's gonna be a pet project that may end up being done this summer (which I will be spending in East Lansing beeteedubs). Eventually, I want it to become a personal homepage with a downloadable resume, the folio, and an info site about me...but again, this is something down the road...right now, I'm stuck in the mire of classes and work and trying to fit friends into the whole picture...I can't forget friends...that's what happened at the beginning of High School and that was possibly the worst time of my life...
But I'm not going to end on a depressing note so here's a synopsis of good things that have happened to me in the very short past:
I got hired at the State News as a graphic artist
I finally got GHBC to the planning stage and out of the gray maybe areas
Apple is considering me to be a Campus Rep
I finally was able to escape the clutches of Caf Work
I've got 2 gigs of cool new music to explore (all of which is legal)
I finally realized what I want to do with myself after college and found a path for that
I'm going to Grand Rapids to meet with one of my really good friends to learn more web stuff on Saturday!
All good things...and I'm happy to list them!
**More into my feud with tables later
Anyway...Meeting with PC went well. We got a lot done...he really liked my mock-up, and aside from any major changes, ^^ is how it's gonna look...as you can see, it has a very calm, earthy feel...lots of greens and browns...and the text is grey sans rather than black serif. The NavBar is going to have a lot more on it than this however...I just didn't have time to go in and change anything since Sat...it's also going to be in drop down format with a gradient the same color as the far right...The 2 columns of text are going to be iFrames that scroll independently of the background (the trees and the gradient), which is going to stay static.There are going to be a couple logos surrounding the banner, which is most likely going to change a little bit as well...I'm not sure about the font...I like the sans Helvetica, but I kind of want something more organic...not Papyrus organic...but something not as clean...Helvetica thruout doesn't seem to go right with the earthy motif.
There's also going to be a JS photo gallery as well as several php forms for prayer requests, CD ordering forms and more. This is going to be a biiiiiiiiig project...but I feel like when it's done, I will be 20 times the web designer I am right now...
I have been neglecting my digital portfolio lately...I should probably look into that...HAH!...like that's going to happen between the State News, classes, the GHBC site and possibly Apple...I kind of want to go in and redo it to look like a newspaper...predominently black and white with an Old English Banner...and NO TABLES!!!** I will use CSS for all of it...but that's gonna be a pet project that may end up being done this summer (which I will be spending in East Lansing beeteedubs). Eventually, I want it to become a personal homepage with a downloadable resume, the folio, and an info site about me...but again, this is something down the road...right now, I'm stuck in the mire of classes and work and trying to fit friends into the whole picture...I can't forget friends...that's what happened at the beginning of High School and that was possibly the worst time of my life...
But I'm not going to end on a depressing note so here's a synopsis of good things that have happened to me in the very short past:
All good things...and I'm happy to list them!
**More into my feud with tables later
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Journal 13: Seldom heard from Mr. Trump
So today, I was hired by the State News to be on their Graphic Design Team!!!
The hiring process is pretty complex, I must say: First, you submit a resume, then you get interviewed...at which time, if they like you enough, you are given a call-back at which point, they, in effect, test drive you by having you work on an ad (in my case it was a V-Day ad for a florist)...and if you find a way to not screw that up, they hire you...for a probationary semester...after which they decide if they really want to hire you.
I am at the probationary semester phase...for some reason, I feel like something like this should be on a TV show...
...wait...
Well, anyway, I am the newest Graphic Designer at the State News...I may work my way up to web design as I get better at coding and the like...but for right now, web stuff is basically going to be confined to my WRA class and any downtime when I can be reading up on things I need to learn.
So in the words heard only once annually from the venerable MR. Trump, I had the privelege of hearing:
"Josh, you're hired"
The hiring process is pretty complex, I must say: First, you submit a resume, then you get interviewed...at which time, if they like you enough, you are given a call-back at which point, they, in effect, test drive you by having you work on an ad (in my case it was a V-Day ad for a florist)...and if you find a way to not screw that up, they hire you...for a probationary semester...after which they decide if they really want to hire you.
I am at the probationary semester phase...for some reason, I feel like something like this should be on a TV show...
...wait...
Well, anyway, I am the newest Graphic Designer at the State News...I may work my way up to web design as I get better at coding and the like...but for right now, web stuff is basically going to be confined to my WRA class and any downtime when I can be reading up on things I need to learn.
So in the words heard only once annually from the venerable MR. Trump, I had the privelege of hearing:
"Josh, you're hired"
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Journal 11 & 12: Forms
Well, I think I have a slight bug on my portfolio...I have no idea where the feedback saves to...do I have to write in the code where the feedback goes? If so, that's a whole different can of worms that I'm gonna have to open! I always wanted to know how forms work...and also, how comment functions work on blogs...I'm going to be learning how to write my own blog code at some point and one of the main features is the whole notion of comments...how does one write code to save comments on a blog or portfolio?
I finally think I found something that I can throw myself at...web design. Every time I turn a corner, I find little things that just blow my mind...every time I have an idea, it's a little adventure to figure out the solution. Plus, with this huge explosion in online use, there are so many sites out there that are completely obsolete and, quite frankly, suck. I think I might like to fix that...maybe (virtually of course) burn the code that runs JC Penny's site and rebuild it from scratch so people can buy mediocre clothes at terrible prices conveniently*. It still astounds me at how bad this site really is...maybe I'm being a little bit harsh...but the first experience I had with JCP left me in a tailspin trying to figure out if I were going to be getting 1 or 2 pairs of pants, what color the aleged trousers were going to be, how much I would be charged, or if I was going to get a pair of pants at all...and in order to cancel my purchase, I couldn't do it online, I had to call some lady from like the middle of West Virginia to tell her that I wasn't going to be needing those jeans at this time, but thanks...and that's how I feel about JCP's site...questions?
*I think I would start at the bottom of the code and literally hold the delete key and watch every single little character be erased
I finally think I found something that I can throw myself at...web design. Every time I turn a corner, I find little things that just blow my mind...every time I have an idea, it's a little adventure to figure out the solution. Plus, with this huge explosion in online use, there are so many sites out there that are completely obsolete and, quite frankly, suck. I think I might like to fix that...maybe (virtually of course) burn the code that runs JC Penny's site and rebuild it from scratch so people can buy mediocre clothes at terrible prices conveniently*. It still astounds me at how bad this site really is...maybe I'm being a little bit harsh...but the first experience I had with JCP left me in a tailspin trying to figure out if I were going to be getting 1 or 2 pairs of pants, what color the aleged trousers were going to be, how much I would be charged, or if I was going to get a pair of pants at all...and in order to cancel my purchase, I couldn't do it online, I had to call some lady from like the middle of West Virginia to tell her that I wasn't going to be needing those jeans at this time, but thanks...and that's how I feel about JCP's site...questions?
*I think I would start at the bottom of the code and literally hold the delete key and watch every single little character be erased
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Journal 9 & 10: Grids and other observations
So lately, it seems that everyone (well, just a couple of sites/blogs I follow*) is redesigning their sites and they are mentioning the use of underlying grids...I'm curious as to what exactly "grids" mean...are the grids actually in the code or is it just something used in the mock-up? What determines what kind of grid is used?
The intrigue builds with this next bit of news...my dad (aka Pastor C or PC) and I have scheduled a meeting to discuss the church website...he even sent me a project brief of sorts...I did find several tutorials on how to make drop-down menus with CSS, but the general consensus seems that the best way for menus is to use JavaScript, especially if you have more than one layer of drops...with js, evidently, you can mouse slightly out of the area of the drop-down and the menu won't just snap shut like it would in CSS, which enables one to mouse down thru a menu diagonally...which connects to the church site b/c one of the main ideas PC has is regarding drop-down menus.
PC also has some ideas as to what tone he wants to set (contemporary and ultra simple), which leads me to think an appropriate color scheme would be mostly white with some green, brown, maybe blue...some kind of Zenn scheme with completely sans-serrif font overall...but definately a gray text...I feel that's a must in this situation.
I feel pretty excited about the whole business...I know I have an extraordinary amount to learn still, but then again, this is something I want to learn...not something I have to.
*I have made some small attempts to contact the authors of these blogs...I think they may be some really good contancts to have
The intrigue builds with this next bit of news...my dad (aka Pastor C or PC) and I have scheduled a meeting to discuss the church website...he even sent me a project brief of sorts...I did find several tutorials on how to make drop-down menus with CSS, but the general consensus seems that the best way for menus is to use JavaScript, especially if you have more than one layer of drops...with js, evidently, you can mouse slightly out of the area of the drop-down and the menu won't just snap shut like it would in CSS, which enables one to mouse down thru a menu diagonally...which connects to the church site b/c one of the main ideas PC has is regarding drop-down menus.
PC also has some ideas as to what tone he wants to set (contemporary and ultra simple), which leads me to think an appropriate color scheme would be mostly white with some green, brown, maybe blue...some kind of Zenn scheme with completely sans-serrif font overall...but definately a gray text...I feel that's a must in this situation.
I feel pretty excited about the whole business...I know I have an extraordinary amount to learn still, but then again, this is something I want to learn...not something I have to.
*I have made some small attempts to contact the authors of these blogs...I think they may be some really good contancts to have
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Journal 7&8
I think my my favicon problem is that I am using a Dropbox public folder to publish my portfolio...so the browser may not recognize that I have a favicon...I'm not quite sure, but I think that's my main problem...
For an honors option, I think I would like to make my final project a web site with a couple of extra sub-pages and JavaScript or Flash embedded in it...maybe make my portfolio into a whole personal website...with links to my portfolio, my blog (perhaps learn to make a blog layout on my own) and maybe some other things...
Another idea I would be really interested in is making a website for my church...the idea has been floating around with the leadership team at the church and I was planning on getting the ball rolling this summer due to the fact that I was kind of waiting on some content from them, but I could put together a general template that could accept the content later on... i was planning on putting in at least 5-6 pages for this one including a web gallery, a blog/announcements page, a podcast page, a general overview of the church, and some others...because of the size of this project, I probably would not use JavaScript seeing as I would still have to learn and master that language as well as research how to make a working blog, a page for downloads and an effective web gallery...also, the demographic of the users would make it difficult to use Flash or JavaScript on the site as most of the users would have dial-up connections and relatively older machines and JavaScript and Flash would lessen the accessibility of the site to them.
I would also be willing to tutor people in the class for web coding...I am pretty familiar with HTML and CSS coding so I could be of some help to students who may not have that much experience in web coding...maybe a powerpoint presentation to the class on some common things they will see when using HTML and CSS coding like link tags, div id's and so on...
And of course, I would be open to other ideas as well...
For an honors option, I think I would like to make my final project a web site with a couple of extra sub-pages and JavaScript or Flash embedded in it...maybe make my portfolio into a whole personal website...with links to my portfolio, my blog (perhaps learn to make a blog layout on my own) and maybe some other things...
Another idea I would be really interested in is making a website for my church...the idea has been floating around with the leadership team at the church and I was planning on getting the ball rolling this summer due to the fact that I was kind of waiting on some content from them, but I could put together a general template that could accept the content later on... i was planning on putting in at least 5-6 pages for this one including a web gallery, a blog/announcements page, a podcast page, a general overview of the church, and some others...because of the size of this project, I probably would not use JavaScript seeing as I would still have to learn and master that language as well as research how to make a working blog, a page for downloads and an effective web gallery...also, the demographic of the users would make it difficult to use Flash or JavaScript on the site as most of the users would have dial-up connections and relatively older machines and JavaScript and Flash would lessen the accessibility of the site to them.
I would also be willing to tutor people in the class for web coding...I am pretty familiar with HTML and CSS coding so I could be of some help to students who may not have that much experience in web coding...maybe a powerpoint presentation to the class on some common things they will see when using HTML and CSS coding like link tags, div id's and so on...
And of course, I would be open to other ideas as well...
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Journal 6
So...one thing I'm working on at the moment is drop down menus and rollover effects...I can't remember how to do the code, but it is something I have been working on.
Also, I can't seem to get my favicon to work...I've been trying for like a half hour now and still no headway...urgh*
Peaches!
Also, I can't seem to get my favicon to work...I've been trying for like a half hour now and still no headway...urgh*
Peaches!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Journal 4 &5
Well, there really isn't much else to report at the moment...oh! I finished the favicon gif (left)...I still have to convert it to .ico, but I did finish it...and I know how to put it into code for my site...it's really just an href tag in the header that new browsers automatically use as your icon...pretty nifty huh?
I didn't really know what to do that represented me while still being memorable, so this is what I got*...maybe eventually I'll make the favicon my logo rather than this lil guy...but who knows...
One other thing that came to mind as I'm sitting here at like 2 am...I want to know how to make links to downloadable files like pdf's and podcasts...I'm heading up the web design for my church and one of the things I wanted to do was to make my dad's (aka pastor Compton) weekly sermon recordings into a podcast that could be downloaded from the site...I still have to do some research as to how all that stuff would work, but mainly I want to know how to link to downloadable files...any help from the blogosphere?
And how do you make links that open in new tabs? I always find it a pain when I'm reading something and I click on the link and it leads me away from the original site I was viewing...most likely, if I make a link inline, it's supplemental to what I'm talking about so I want the reader to be able to stay on the original site but view the other page at the same time...how exactly do I do this?
*it's a little bigger than real life ;P
Friday, January 16, 2009
Journal 2 & 3: Still Under Construction
CSS. I like.
So I just recently finished my digital portfolio...at least the major body of it...I still need to add descriptions to my pictures and Next and Previous buttons to the pages. And some other minor things like adding a Favicon (thanks to Jam's wonderful insight and guidance).Tedious comes to mind.
Now for the actual meat of this post. So for a few days now, I've been trying to add a little banner in the corner explaining that my site is still under construction. From my previous life as a CSE 101 student in the Web Track Program, I knew the best way to do this was to make a div and tell the index where to put it with the all-powerful CSS sheet that Photoshop so conveniently generated for me...sounds pretty simple right? I already did it once with the link (a picture ) for my Homepage (which is still in the virtual womb with only that maroon rectangle in the background to show for my extensive work*), so I knew generally what to do...absolute positioning and 0px top and left...but it wasn't working. I had put the div in the line above the < / body > tag...if it's absolutely positioned, it really doesn't matter where you put the div as long as it's in the body...but no luck...so what about right under the <> tag? I want it at the top of the page...so I'll put the GIF at the top of the code...no? What about just inside the top <> tag? Random place, but it might work...no. WTF? So for about a week, I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong...and one day it hit me...what if I take out the space in the div id?** Turns out that little space makes all the difference.
I now have a Still Under Construction banner in its rightful place...but it was a pain...moral of this story...with div id's, no spaces or else
*building a table half from scratch is a pain in the ass!
**my div id was .under construction
So I just recently finished my digital portfolio...at least the major body of it...I still need to add descriptions to my pictures and Next and Previous buttons to the pages. And some other minor things like adding a Favicon (thanks to Jam's wonderful insight and guidance).Tedious comes to mind.
Now for the actual meat of this post. So for a few days now, I've been trying to add a little banner in the corner explaining that my site is still under construction. From my previous life as a CSE 101 student in the Web Track Program, I knew the best way to do this was to make a div and tell the index where to put it with the all-powerful CSS sheet that Photoshop so conveniently generated for me...sounds pretty simple right? I already did it once with the link (a picture ) for my Homepage (which is still in the virtual womb with only that maroon rectangle in the background to show for my extensive work*), so I knew generally what to do...absolute positioning and 0px top and left...but it wasn't working. I had put the div in the line above the < / body > tag...if it's absolutely positioned, it really doesn't matter where you put the div as long as it's in the body...but no luck...so what about right under the <> tag? I want it at the top of the page...so I'll put the GIF at the top of the code...no? What about just inside the top <> tag? Random place, but it might work...no. WTF? So for about a week, I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong...and one day it hit me...what if I take out the space in the div id?** Turns out that little space makes all the difference.
I now have a Still Under Construction banner in its rightful place...but it was a pain...moral of this story...with div id's, no spaces or else
*building a table half from scratch is a pain in the ass!
**my div id was .under construction
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Journal 1
First thing...I really want to know how to make those little GIFs that appear by the URL navbar (see right)...my prof told me that the code for this is in the head...but a lot of sites have tons of stuff like CSS code and stuff like that in there...so looking for something I don't even know the name for is really kind of annoying when it's burried in CSS and other random crap.
Second thing...JC Penney has a terrible website. It is never clear about what is actually available to order and what is out of stock, the load times are uber slow, the pics of the clothes are extremely innaccurate; the consumer has to go through like 5 different links to actually order an item and there is no place to actually redeem gift cards once you are finished navigating the labrynth of pages you have to go through before being able to complete an order. I'm already predisposed against online shopping and this experience definately didn't help. A company website that involves potential revenue is definately not something you just hand off to your interns and temps to play around with.
Third...I am going to have a rough semester and this journal most likely will be an outlet for complaining and stress...I really am not this angry all the time. ;)
Online Journal
So to anyone out there who happens to know the background of my blog...the content here at The Way I See It is going to be changing drastically...unfortunately, over the past however many months it has been, downtime has become a commodity...including the time to write out coherent and interesting posts. Because of this, I will be using this site for my web authoring class as an online journal. Feel free to comment on the posts as many of them will be posing questions about web authoring and telling of frustrations I have with whatever I am working on...but no more real 'Blog-ish' type content from my end.
Regards,
Buff
Regards,
Buff
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
This is Screaming Buffalo, is anyone still out there?
Yeah, this is a filler...I'm just too ashamed to let the 28 weeks later post be the first post you see when you enter my site...New post coming soon...if anyone is still out there...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
28 weeks ‘till I can actually walk outside at night
If you have seen 28 Days Later, or the new one, 28 Weeks Later, then you know what I’m talking about when I say ‘roid rage rabies. The whole concept of both films is that there is a virus called the “Rage Virus” that has taken over London. Lame name for the main antagonist right? well neither film gives you the time to ponder how creative the name of this disease is because there is almost this constant stream of startling scenes (as any good horror film has to have) and gore (again, any good horror flick necessity). Here’s the concept of the disease: the virus is spread through blood and/or saliva contact. When you contract it, you start projectile vomiting bloody mucus and you digress into this state of complete savagery and rage. You then proceed to run around trying to bite and/or eat other people and thus spread the virus. Now, the concept is simple enough, but words can hardly describe the state that these people are in. it’s almost like someone on steroids got mad and then got bit by a very rabid dog, aka, ‘roid rage rabies.
In order to have a good zombie/monster movie, you’ve got to have the people look scary along with their crazy “I’m gonna eat your fuckin’ hand off your fuckin’ arm” mentality. The people in charge of this department did very well. The infected, about a minute after contact, begin to get blood-shot eyes and, again, spew out the contents of their stomach along with about a pint of blood. So let’s recap. These people on steroids, infected with rabies now have hangovers to go along with an upset stomach—they’re pissed, as I would be, and evidently, the people kind of turn into rabid vampires—so they go on a rampage looking for blood that they can dribble down the front of their shirt.
In 28 Days, you see how the virus began. In 28 Weeks, you see how all of Britain has been quarantined and how the military hopes to rid the world of the virus by starving the infected to death. One person survived the six month quarantine and managed to keep her sanity, even though she was attacked at least once by one of these people though.
This is the basis of the movie. She, it turns out, is a carrier for the virus, so she doesn’t get sick, but she can still spread it. Obviously, since there is this whole movie, the worst happens and the virus gets out again. The military proceeds to shoot everything in sight (so now it’s a horror-action flick), and a hero is born when one of about thirty snipers decides he doesn’t like the target practice anymore and escorts a really hot doctor and two kids through a London filled with military exterminators and pissed off people with rabies.
Scared yet? Well if not, I highly suggest this movie. And if you know anyone that has watched either of the 28 [insert time period] movies, here’s a good prank:
Get some ketchup and put it all down your chin, like you just ate a ketchup pie without our hands, then get some Phizene tears or something that won’t hurt your eyes but make them bloodshot and put it in your eye, finally, mess up your hair and clothes, like you slept in your clothes and didn’t take a shower. Then, when it gets dark, sneak up to them, or even better, sneak outside a window, wait for them to look, scream and act like you want to give them a bloody hickey and hide in the shadows. I guarantee that, if they don’t shoot or try to kill you, it will be one of the funniest things you will see because they will, in all likelihood, drop a deuce in their pants.
This is, again, a good movie if you like action, gore and horror. Go and watch it, just don’t sleep alone in the house afterwards.
In order to have a good zombie/monster movie, you’ve got to have the people look scary along with their crazy “I’m gonna eat your fuckin’ hand off your fuckin’ arm” mentality. The people in charge of this department did very well. The infected, about a minute after contact, begin to get blood-shot eyes and, again, spew out the contents of their stomach along with about a pint of blood. So let’s recap. These people on steroids, infected with rabies now have hangovers to go along with an upset stomach—they’re pissed, as I would be, and evidently, the people kind of turn into rabid vampires—so they go on a rampage looking for blood that they can dribble down the front of their shirt.In 28 Days, you see how the virus began. In 28 Weeks, you see how all of Britain has been quarantined and how the military hopes to rid the world of the virus by starving the infected to death. One person survived the six month quarantine and managed to keep her sanity, even though she was attacked at least once by one of these people though.
This is the basis of the movie. She, it turns out, is a carrier for the virus, so she doesn’t get sick, but she can still spread it. Obviously, since there is this whole movie, the worst happens and the virus gets out again. The military proceeds to shoot everything in sight (so now it’s a horror-action flick), and a hero is born when one of about thirty snipers decides he doesn’t like the target practice anymore and escorts a really hot doctor and two kids through a London filled with military exterminators and pissed off people with rabies.
Scared yet? Well if not, I highly suggest this movie. And if you know anyone that has watched either of the 28 [insert time period] movies, here’s a good prank:
Get some ketchup and put it all down your chin, like you just ate a ketchup pie without our hands, then get some Phizene tears or something that won’t hurt your eyes but make them bloodshot and put it in your eye, finally, mess up your hair and clothes, like you slept in your clothes and didn’t take a shower. Then, when it gets dark, sneak up to them, or even better, sneak outside a window, wait for them to look, scream and act like you want to give them a bloody hickey and hide in the shadows. I guarantee that, if they don’t shoot or try to kill you, it will be one of the funniest things you will see because they will, in all likelihood, drop a deuce in their pants.
This is, again, a good movie if you like action, gore and horror. Go and watch it, just don’t sleep alone in the house afterwards.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Martha Ali vs Rachael Ray Lewis
Martha Stewart has challenged Rachael Ray to a boxing match! After finding that perky and young Rachael Ray is more popular among the people who actually have time to watch TV at 10:00 in the morning than herself, Martha Stewart decided to settle this new rivalry in the only fashion she knows how—boxing.
“It’s an idea I picked up in prison,” said Stewart. “If two inmates had a problem, the warden would whip out the 8 oz. gloves and off we’d go.”
Before Ray even responded to this bizarre challenge, Stewart began the propaganda war, ordering 2 million “Rachael Ray is Gay” pins and also ordering that Stewart’s picture be imposed on the figure of Uncle Sam and placed on one half of the nation’s public busses and subways.
“[Martha] really wants her popularity back,” said Martha Richards, Stewart’s assistant. “She didn’t take prison well, and with this Ray lady coming into the picture, well—it doesn’t look good.”
When asked about her first name being the same as her employer, Richards explained that Stewart required all personal assistants to legally change their first name to Martha.
“The last person to ask why disappeared,” Richards said.
Ray, upon receiving the strongly worded memo from Stewart promptly accepted this challenge and told her people to call Stewart’s people and set up the fight.
“I’ll have her done in a half an hour and surrounded by Triscuits, easy peasy,” commented Ray. “And all under twenty dollars!”
Stewart’s wrath was sparked by a poll by the American Polling Institute. One question asked the interviewees who they would rather watch for cooking and homecare. 63% favored Ray over Stewart, though when asked who the most feared talk show host was, 80% named Stewart over Star Jones and Conan O’Brien.
“It makes me feel good that I still have something going for me,” said Stewart. “Not as many people watch my show, but the people who still watch are afraid I’ll hunt them down if they stop watching.”
The fight was scheduled at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas for April 1. The fight will be at 7:00 PM with an after party and hors d'oeuvres which will be made by both domestic divas. Officiating for the fight will be Vice President Dick Cheney. He was chosen because though people might mess with Stewart, nobody would mess with Cheney.
“He shot a guy in the face!” said a bystander. “Even Bush is scared of him.”
Nobody knows who will win. Some favor Stewart because she was sent to prison, so she has “street cred,” but others favor Ray because under that unwavering smile and cheesy catch phrases could be a feral Neanderthal of a woman who will eat Stewart alive. We’ll see what happens on April Fools Day when the divas duke it out in Caesar’s Palace.
Just thought I'd put in a new post. I've been terribly negligent the last few months.
“It’s an idea I picked up in prison,” said Stewart. “If two inmates had a problem, the warden would whip out the 8 oz. gloves and off we’d go.”
Before Ray even responded to this bizarre challenge, Stewart began the propaganda war, ordering 2 million “Rachael Ray is Gay” pins and also ordering that Stewart’s picture be imposed on the figure of Uncle Sam and placed on one half of the nation’s public busses and subways.
“[Martha] really wants her popularity back,” said Martha Richards, Stewart’s assistant. “She didn’t take prison well, and with this Ray lady coming into the picture, well—it doesn’t look good.”
When asked about her first name being the same as her employer, Richards explained that Stewart required all personal assistants to legally change their first name to Martha.
“The last person to ask why disappeared,” Richards said.
Ray, upon receiving the strongly worded memo from Stewart promptly accepted this challenge and told her people to call Stewart’s people and set up the fight.
“I’ll have her done in a half an hour and surrounded by Triscuits, easy peasy,” commented Ray. “And all under twenty dollars!”
Stewart’s wrath was sparked by a poll by the American Polling Institute. One question asked the interviewees who they would rather watch for cooking and homecare. 63% favored Ray over Stewart, though when asked who the most feared talk show host was, 80% named Stewart over Star Jones and Conan O’Brien.
“It makes me feel good that I still have something going for me,” said Stewart. “Not as many people watch my show, but the people who still watch are afraid I’ll hunt them down if they stop watching.”
The fight was scheduled at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas for April 1. The fight will be at 7:00 PM with an after party and hors d'oeuvres which will be made by both domestic divas. Officiating for the fight will be Vice President Dick Cheney. He was chosen because though people might mess with Stewart, nobody would mess with Cheney.
“He shot a guy in the face!” said a bystander. “Even Bush is scared of him.”
Nobody knows who will win. Some favor Stewart because she was sent to prison, so she has “street cred,” but others favor Ray because under that unwavering smile and cheesy catch phrases could be a feral Neanderthal of a woman who will eat Stewart alive. We’ll see what happens on April Fools Day when the divas duke it out in Caesar’s Palace.
Just thought I'd put in a new post. I've been terribly negligent the last few months.
Friday, September 29, 2006
A Time of War and a Time of Peace
They ate quietly. Nobody spoke because for once, it was silent. It was a miracle in itself that the family of three was all at the table together at all. Hope, being grounded for the umpteenth time sat glaring a hole alternately through the center of her untouched food and various family members seething because she couldn’t be out with Gloria. Now sixteen, she could drive, but Hope came home at 2:00 this morning, two hours after curfew, and was forced to surrender her keys for the weekend. She was still livid from being cooped up in the house all Saturday flipping between Laguna Beech and reruns of Golden Girls.
Justin was almost finished wolfing down his second steak; oblivious to the looks of disgust he occasionally received from Hope when he crammed so many fries into his mouth that he was very well close to gagging. Hope gagged for him. The baby of the family, Justin was born two months after Hope’s second birthday. He was a jock of sorts, aspiring to be a sports caster or a writer for Sports Illustrated©, but lacking the grades to be so. Justin had an air of laid-back underachievement about him. Smart enough to succeed when he applied himself, but almost never finding the motivation to do so.
Tim, the newest man in a seemingly endless line of stepfathers and boyfriends after Bill (Hope’s father) walked out, sat ignoring the half eaten medium steak and cold fries before him waiting politely for everyone to finish. This was his first visit to Molly’s house and his first time meeting the kids. Tim liked Molly and he wanted to make a good impression on the kids since their opinion was probably a big part in whether or not the three-week fling between him and Molly would continue.
Molly, single mother of two, still hurt from the night that she discovered Bill, her first husband, in their bed with another woman, sat looking at her two children. Hope had been Molly’s first child, born eight months after her and Bill’s honeymoon*. She smiled at that thought. Molly remembered that time, when the love that was shared between the couple seemed as if it would last forever; that a story would be written about their love that would become the most wonderful fairy tale ever told. But then again, the relationship of ten years had been just that, a little story that never was. Ironically, the divorce that ensued was the story most people would have read, it was a battle of epic proportions. Molly’s lawyer wanted a hefty amount of child support and half of Bill’s estate while Bill and his team of lawyers tried to get off with a five thousand dollar settlement. The suit went on for months. Molly had already secured custody of the kids and, though she could never prove it, Bill had hired people to harass her and the two children. Finally Bill gave up, Molly received the house and five hundred dollars a month in child support. Though she was still hurt, Molly knew that Hope and Justin needed a father figure. She had married and divorced twice and had numerous boyfriends in the six years that had passed since…
Molly couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “So kids, how was your Saturday?”
“If vath okay I gueth, Tham and me-”
“Finish chewing you pig”
“Shut up Hope, it’s not like you know what eating is like anyway.”
“Oh, you little bra-“
“Justin! That was rude. And Hope’s right, don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“Anyway,” said Justin scowling at Hope. “Sam and me went to the arcade and I beat the Area 51 high score! I killed 500 aliens without dying!” Justin leaned back in his chair with an air of smug satisfaction.
“Oh that’s a great use of time and money. I could think of a thousand other things to do besides wasting my money at an arcade on a dumb shooting game.” was Hope’s angry reply.
“What like wasting $200 on a pair of ripped up jeans that don’t even fit you, or puking in the bathroom after dinner, or staying out ‘till two AM doing your nails?”
“Mom, Justin is the one that tore up the siding in the back yard, not some guy vandalizing our house.”
“Wha-“
“Well Hope and her friends are the ones that broke the ceramic goose on the mantle.”
“Hope!”
“Justin sneaks out every Wednesday night to play craps down the street.”
“Hope takes Smirnoff Ice from the garage.”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!!” screamed Molly. “Both of you go to your rooms right now! You will both be hearing from me later!”
“What did I do?” protested Hope. “I’ve been stuck in the house all day!”
“Well that’s your fault now isn’t it?” replied Molly.
“I already told you! Gloria and I lost track of time.”
“Yeah, you two were having soooo much fun doing nails,” scoffed Justin. “I’ll bet that they lost track of time because they were too busy making out with their boyfriends.”
“So! Who wants a drink? I sure do!” said Tim rising from his seat.
“Upstairs. Now!” Molly said.
Reluctantly, with furious looks at each other and their mother, Justin and Hope sulked their way upstairs to their rooms, being confirmed seconds later by two slamming doors.
“I’m really sorry about all of this Tim. The kids fight from time to time and as they say, when it rains, it pours,” apologized Molly as she began to clear the table.
“Oh, that’s fine. I remember being that age. My brother and I always were fighting about something or other. And sometimes, it would get kind of nasty, but we still loved each other,” replied Tim as he followed Molly with more plates from the table.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Molly agreed. “I just don’t remember my fights with my brother being so cruel,” she added as she began loading the dishwasher.
“Well, every sibling pair has a different temperament. Some kids express their emotions different ways. Just watch, they’ll get this thing settled before you know it,” promised Tim as he closed the dishwasher and started it. “Now,” he added as he sidled up to Molly “if I remember correctly, there is a bottle of Merlot in my car. You want to pop it open?”
“Oh I don’t know Tim,” said Molly. “It was a long day at the office and now I’ve got two furious kids waiting for me in their rooms.”
“Are you sure?” asked Tim. “Nothing calms the nerves like a nice glass of wine with a friend.”
“You know,” replied Molly “I really would enjoy that, but- just not tonight. I’m really sorry Tim.”
“No, I understand. Maybe we can do this again sometime,” said Tim.
“Yeah, maybe. Thank you so much for understanding,” replied Molly.
Twenty minutes later, after Tim kissed her goodbye, Molly made her way upstairs to the rooms of her children, hoping beyond hope that she could find the right words to say.
*You can do the math on that one right?
Justin was almost finished wolfing down his second steak; oblivious to the looks of disgust he occasionally received from Hope when he crammed so many fries into his mouth that he was very well close to gagging. Hope gagged for him. The baby of the family, Justin was born two months after Hope’s second birthday. He was a jock of sorts, aspiring to be a sports caster or a writer for Sports Illustrated©, but lacking the grades to be so. Justin had an air of laid-back underachievement about him. Smart enough to succeed when he applied himself, but almost never finding the motivation to do so.
Tim, the newest man in a seemingly endless line of stepfathers and boyfriends after Bill (Hope’s father) walked out, sat ignoring the half eaten medium steak and cold fries before him waiting politely for everyone to finish. This was his first visit to Molly’s house and his first time meeting the kids. Tim liked Molly and he wanted to make a good impression on the kids since their opinion was probably a big part in whether or not the three-week fling between him and Molly would continue.
Molly, single mother of two, still hurt from the night that she discovered Bill, her first husband, in their bed with another woman, sat looking at her two children. Hope had been Molly’s first child, born eight months after her and Bill’s honeymoon*. She smiled at that thought. Molly remembered that time, when the love that was shared between the couple seemed as if it would last forever; that a story would be written about their love that would become the most wonderful fairy tale ever told. But then again, the relationship of ten years had been just that, a little story that never was. Ironically, the divorce that ensued was the story most people would have read, it was a battle of epic proportions. Molly’s lawyer wanted a hefty amount of child support and half of Bill’s estate while Bill and his team of lawyers tried to get off with a five thousand dollar settlement. The suit went on for months. Molly had already secured custody of the kids and, though she could never prove it, Bill had hired people to harass her and the two children. Finally Bill gave up, Molly received the house and five hundred dollars a month in child support. Though she was still hurt, Molly knew that Hope and Justin needed a father figure. She had married and divorced twice and had numerous boyfriends in the six years that had passed since…
Molly couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “So kids, how was your Saturday?”
“If vath okay I gueth, Tham and me-”
“Finish chewing you pig”
“Shut up Hope, it’s not like you know what eating is like anyway.”
“Oh, you little bra-“
“Justin! That was rude. And Hope’s right, don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“Anyway,” said Justin scowling at Hope. “Sam and me went to the arcade and I beat the Area 51 high score! I killed 500 aliens without dying!” Justin leaned back in his chair with an air of smug satisfaction.
“Oh that’s a great use of time and money. I could think of a thousand other things to do besides wasting my money at an arcade on a dumb shooting game.” was Hope’s angry reply.
“What like wasting $200 on a pair of ripped up jeans that don’t even fit you, or puking in the bathroom after dinner, or staying out ‘till two AM doing your nails?”
“Mom, Justin is the one that tore up the siding in the back yard, not some guy vandalizing our house.”
“Wha-“
“Well Hope and her friends are the ones that broke the ceramic goose on the mantle.”
“Hope!”
“Justin sneaks out every Wednesday night to play craps down the street.”
“Hope takes Smirnoff Ice from the garage.”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!!” screamed Molly. “Both of you go to your rooms right now! You will both be hearing from me later!”
“What did I do?” protested Hope. “I’ve been stuck in the house all day!”
“Well that’s your fault now isn’t it?” replied Molly.
“I already told you! Gloria and I lost track of time.”
“Yeah, you two were having soooo much fun doing nails,” scoffed Justin. “I’ll bet that they lost track of time because they were too busy making out with their boyfriends.”
“So! Who wants a drink? I sure do!” said Tim rising from his seat.
“Upstairs. Now!” Molly said.
Reluctantly, with furious looks at each other and their mother, Justin and Hope sulked their way upstairs to their rooms, being confirmed seconds later by two slamming doors.
“I’m really sorry about all of this Tim. The kids fight from time to time and as they say, when it rains, it pours,” apologized Molly as she began to clear the table.
“Oh, that’s fine. I remember being that age. My brother and I always were fighting about something or other. And sometimes, it would get kind of nasty, but we still loved each other,” replied Tim as he followed Molly with more plates from the table.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Molly agreed. “I just don’t remember my fights with my brother being so cruel,” she added as she began loading the dishwasher.
“Well, every sibling pair has a different temperament. Some kids express their emotions different ways. Just watch, they’ll get this thing settled before you know it,” promised Tim as he closed the dishwasher and started it. “Now,” he added as he sidled up to Molly “if I remember correctly, there is a bottle of Merlot in my car. You want to pop it open?”
“Oh I don’t know Tim,” said Molly. “It was a long day at the office and now I’ve got two furious kids waiting for me in their rooms.”
“Are you sure?” asked Tim. “Nothing calms the nerves like a nice glass of wine with a friend.”
“You know,” replied Molly “I really would enjoy that, but- just not tonight. I’m really sorry Tim.”
“No, I understand. Maybe we can do this again sometime,” said Tim.
“Yeah, maybe. Thank you so much for understanding,” replied Molly.
Twenty minutes later, after Tim kissed her goodbye, Molly made her way upstairs to the rooms of her children, hoping beyond hope that she could find the right words to say.
*You can do the math on that one right?
Thursday, June 01, 2006
It's a Bird...It's a Plane...Kamikaze!!!!!
Well I was reading TIME the other day and it was talking about a company of Marines in the most dangerous part in Iraq. They were talking about how they all were sticking there necks out every day because they never knew who the insurgents were or where they were and they always ran the risk of being shot. And then I looked up and there was a commercial for Superman on TV*. It showed this amazing fight scene where he (Superman) took out a missile and then a guy went to shoot him and it hit him in the eye…and the bullet (not the venerable Clark Kent’s eye) was crushed in on itself and it fell to the ground and an amazing thought hit me. What if Superman could join the armed forces?!! I mean, if an army company was ambushed, he could just charge right in and blast everybody to smithereens. Nobody could shoot him (well they could, but he wouldn’t get hurt), and he could kill all the insurgents**.
We all know of Superman’s powers, like a very high resistance to death and bullets, incredible strength, x-ray and laser vision and the signature flying that always comes in handy. So why not put them to use? He could fly over the field of battle, drawing RPG fire, so we know where the insurgents are. He could also fly on stealth missions because if he has x-ray and laser vision, I’d be willing to bet my dog’s life on the fact that he has binocular and infrared vision as well meaning that he could fly at night or in the day at high altitudes and still see the guys on the ground. Hey, he could even carry out bombing raids for us! He could be the bomb. He’s death-resistant. He could fly down into the heart of the insurgency and detonate his bomb pack. After the bomb was detonated, he could rush in and kill the remaining survivors.
But therein lies another problem, how are we going to have Superman carry out all of these tasks at once? Cloning of course! All we’d have to do is talk to George Lucas and see how he made the clones for Episode II° and then we could clone Superman like a thousand times for starters say, and give him the training he needs and send him on his merry, death-dealing way.
Not only would this save beaucoup bucks in our budget, we could start withdrawing troops from Iraq really soon. We could spend more time and resources on building a new government and finding the real terrorists. Thre would be exponentially less casualties because all of the soldiers in Iraq would be Superman! It's brilliant! Ah but alas, Superman is in hiding with Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa, so we can’t get his DNA, and I’m sure that George Lucas is still not ready to divulge the cloning secret as of yet. I guess we’ll have to wait for a little while.
*I watch TV and read at the same time. My parents think that I’m weird for doing this, but hey- I’m a media junkie what can I say?
**Another thing mentioned in the TIME article is that when a soldier captures an insurgent, they don’t go to jail for very long, and then they go right back into the Insurgency to be captured again. So it’s just easier for Superman to kill the MoFo’s now (better be safe than sorry :))
°Because we all know that he didn’t just use computer engineering, he still has some of the better clones doing his housework for him
BTW, who would win in a fight between Superman and Chuck Norris?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Extreme Post Makeover
Well my old template was giving me problems and I guess it kind of pissed me off. So I went radical. That's right. I got a new template and voila! I can put links on without killing my post!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
AHHHHHRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Well people, this is the second notice of delay. the fourth marking period is upon us and seeing as I have many things to do in my, as Dem calls it, RLI, I will not be posting for a while. I will however comment on other blogs when I have time and if you feel the need to comment on mine, whether it be the cries of the people missing my insight or just a lonely blogger in need of a good talk. So, wish me luck in pulling off another four point oh year and I'll have some more from Sudan when I get back.
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